Slowing down to evolve deeper.

What happens when choosing yourself feels terrifying?

I found myself spread thin across the many roles I played and realized that I made it almost impossible to practice the routines that I based my career teaching others. Although choosing myself was the immediate solution, it was not easy to do it right away. I faced many opposing thoughts that brought guilt and judgment just as quickly. The "what ifs" and "I should haves" began to take over when what I truly needed was to give myself permission to simplify the process.

It wasn't until I caught a bad cold that I actually started this process. Anyone who lives with children and a spouse knows that it is easy to catch a bug when one of the family members has caught it first and sure enough, that is what happened to me. I had two clients to take in the wellbeing studio and by the end of my day, my body started to ache. I prayed it was just aches from standing for hours but as time progressed, I knew it was more. By the time I got home that evening, I was fetal positioned in bed crying silent tears. I was upset that I was ill and had so much to do. Instead of focusing on being well for myself, I wanted to be better to get back to everyone else.

By the third day, I'd been stuck in my room away from my children and on my umpteenth dose of medicine, tea, and hot soup. All the while, my dreams were vivid, and my reoccurring thoughts began to take over... "Am I in alignment with my business?" This question began to haunt me, as I felt it was my duty to get clarity by any means. I'd digested all the YouTube videos of top entrepreneurs ranging from coaching to salon owners while picking the brains of my trusted circle aiming to find a balance as a business owner, mom and fiancé. It all felt so overwhelming, especially not being able to give my 100% due to being sick. Ultimately, I had to lean into the routines and rituals that have always been my foundation, aligning with God and using my journaling as a way to make it all make sense. I let myself write down all the things that scared me, all the things I was unhappy about, and all of the questions I had that no one would be able to answer.

It all came down to a simple approach- SLOWING DOWN. Yes, slowing down. The rush to do everything "right" led me down a path that started to feel out of alignment. My need for clarity and also impatience only made me spiral until the divine timing of being sick. I could no longer run from the truth. If I want to be an impact, if I want to share the beauty of what wellness can truly do, I had to realign with what it means for me in THIS version of me. I am now the entrepreneur that is a certified life coach which is still so new that I haven't digested the journey it took to get here. Yes, I craft hair care and styling, I paint pieces expressing over 15 years of artistry, I created sacred tattoos, I curate sound bowl experiences alongside guided meditations, and I am a mother and fiancé. It's a lot but it doesn't have to feel like a lot. It became time to slow down and apply my own formula once again. An intentional reset.

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